Before Sunrise

I want to have this post for all the brilliant dialogues in 2 movies: Before Sunrise (1995) and Before Sunset (2004) not only because how romantic, interesting and entertaining they are to me as an audience but also because I could totally relate to Celine as a person so I guess posting this is like a way of me expressing myself through her.

I actually watched Before Sunset first, without knowing the existence of Before Sunrise and thought that the scenes when they were young are just a part of the movie itself. I saw myself in thirty-something Celine in Before Sunset and to my surprise, I still felt the same way when I watched Before Sunrise just now. I have to say the screenwriter had done a great job following up the original movie after 9 years and the actors were amazing. They had such a good chemistry on screen and their actings were so lovely and believable.

I’m just so in love with Celine’s smile and how adorable young Jesse was. I totally would get off the train if I ever had an encounter like theirs. Love at first sight, impulsiveness, or you know, “I like to feel his eyes on me when I look away”, they are totally my thing. All I need is a great partner. Ha!

I mean, I always feel like a freak because I’m never able to move on like this. People just have affair or even entire relationships, they break up and they forget, they move on like they would have changed brand of cereals. I feel I was never able to forget anyone I’ve been with because each person had their own specific qualities. You can never replace anyone, what’s lost is lost. Each relationship when it ends, really damages me. I never fully recovered. That’s why I’m very careful with getting involved… because it hurts too much. Even getting laid, I actually don’t do that, because I will miss of the person even the most mundane things, like I’m obsessed with little things. Maybe I’m crazy but when I was a little girl my mom told me that i was always late to school. One day she followed me to see why, I was looking at chestnuts falling from the trees, rolling on the sidewalk or ants crossing the road, the way a leaf casts a shadow on a tree trunk. Little things. I think it’s the same with people. I see in them little details so specific to each of them that move me and that I miss and will always miss. You can never replace anyone because everyone is made of such beautiful, specific details.

Obviously I can’t deal with the day-to-day life of a relationship. When someone’s always around me, I’m suffocating. I mean, I’m really happy only when I’m on my own. Even being alone, it’s better than sitting next to a lover and feeling lonely. 

I was not even screwed. I’ve just had so many blah relationships. They weren’t even mean, they cared for me but there were no real connection or excitement. 

I know it’s my fault because I never felt it was the right man. Never. But what does it mean, the right man, the love of your life? The concept is absurd. We can only be complete with another person. It’s evil, right? You know I guess, I’ve been heartbroken so many times and then I recovered. So now, you know, from the starts, I make no effort because I know it’s not gonna work out.

You know, I have this awful paranoid thought that feminism was mostly invented by men so that they could like, fool around a little more. You know, women, free your minds, free your bodies, sleep with me. We’re all happy and free as long as I can fuck as much as I want.

I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making it look my whole life is revolving around some guy. But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn’t everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?

I think I’m afraid of death 24 hours a day. I swear, I mean, that’s why I’m in a train right now. I could’ve flown to Paris but I’m scared. I can’t help it. I know the statistics say, “Na na na, it’s safer.” Whatever. When I’m in the plane, I can see the explosion. I can see me falling through the clouds. And I’m so scared of those few seconds of consciousness before you die. When you know you’re gonna die. I can’t stop thinking that way. It’s exhausting. Really exhausting.

But you know what? It doesn’t matter what generation you’re born into. Look at my parents. They were angry, young May ’68 people revolting against everything. The government, their conservative Catholic backgrounds… Then I was born, and my father became a successful architect. We traveled around the world while he built bridges… And you know, towers and stuff. I mean, I really can’t complain about anything. They love me more than anything and I’ve been raised with all the freedom they fought for. And yet for me now, it’s another type of fight. We have to deal with the same shit, but we can’t really know who, or you know, what the enemy is.

When you talked earlier about after a few years how a couple would begin to hate each other by anticipating their reactions or getting tired of their mannerisms-I think it would be the opposite for me. I think I can really fall in love when I know everything about someone-the way he’s going to part his hair, which shirt he’s going to wear that day, knowing the exact story he’d tell in a given situation. I’m sure that’s when I know I’m really in love.

And there is one line by Jesse:

Why is it, that a dog, sleeping in the sun, is so beautiful, y’know, it is, it’s beautiful, but a guy, standing at a bank machine, trying to take some money out, looks like a complete moron?

I just think it’s so important that ideas are to be shared and inspirational. We might not come up with anything but the thing is we let each other know that we are not alone in this world. We are like-minded. We’re the same people. How beautiful it is!  




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