One day he will fall in love. He will try hard to impress whoever it is that has the power over his proud heart. You will see he puts more effort in his appearance, in the way he speaks, the way he treats people around him. He will try to be more polite, more respectful, warmer, kinder so that she will adore him. She’s a special girl in his eyes. She puts a smile on his face whenever she’s around him. She’s cheerful and good-natured. She’s something he needs. At least, I guess so.
I guess… that it’s a girl who he would be consistently nice to. It’s a girl who he could not wait to get a text message from and for whom he’s so excited to do every little sweet thing normally he wouldn’t do, nervously hoping that it would light up her pretty face. It’s someone who’s on his mind for the better part of the day. It’s the person he would stick around with, believing that she’s worth every bit of it. Tears and laughs. The butterflies he hasn’t had for so long. Something so magical to a pragmatic, cool-headed, stubborn person with a big ego like him. And so he is smitten.
I’m sure she’s the girl that’s better than all of his past girls. A girl that charms his brothers and sisters and all of his close friends. A girl that makes him proud. A girl that he sees all the good in and accepts all the bad of. A girl that happens to be close to him. Proximity and intimacy wise.
A girl… that could have been me but will never be me. A girl that I will never want to know of but have to think about now to be prepared for the day this will all happen. Or if it has happened already.
It’s funny because I really have no solid reason to be feeling this way. We were nothing. We had nothing. He was and is not even half of this person he could be to whoever that girl is to me. The reality of him and me is that, we don’t know each other. He is terribly flawed and I’m ridiculously obsessed. Catching feelings like catching a disease, spreading all over. You see, it’s not my intention and there is no way back. It can just die away. It is dying away because I say so.
I don’t care about that girl. I don’t want to be that girl.
I’m just this girl and how he treats me is simply his decision. There is just so much I could do.
Perhaps, one day, when life brings us together at the same time and place, there will be something to say. Something new.
But now. That girl and him. They are none of my business.