1. You have been hurt. You have been misunderstood, mistreated. Not just once, not just twice, but multiple times. Again and again. Sometimes it’s by the people you never thought that would ever hurt you. Sometimes it’s the people you knew for sure that would eventually hurt you but you let them anyway. Then there are the strangers that you had no idea could have such immense power over your naive heart.

Yet, most of the times, it is you, the person who has yet to know what you really want and need, the person who’s struggling to find out who you really are, the person who subsequently allows people to walk in and out of your life so easily.

But you’re fine because this also means that you’re actually in control of it all – who you meet, who you let close to you, who you become vulnerable with. You are the ultimate person who could make it all better, especially since thanks to all the hurtfulness, you now know for sure what happiness truly is to you.

2. You have made mistakes. You have hurt others. You have found yourself playing the villain in someone else’s stories. Intentionally or not. At times your shoulder feels unbearably heavy with all the pain and regrets of a past that could have been better, of a you that could have been wiser.

However, what at the times of weakness you fail to realize is that without mistakes, you could never know how to do better, how to accept the past, how to overcome your fear, how to grow and find happiness and how to be grateful. Making mistakes is how you come to deeply appreciate all the life lessons those mistakes have brought to you and the people who always stay by your side.

3. You have failed. You have disappointed your friends, your family, and yourself. You have experienced embarrassment, humiliation and pain because of that. It stings. It puts you down, shakes your confidence, damages your self-esteem. It screams at you that you’re not good enough.

But as you look back at your life, you will realize that failure might well be one of the best things that ever happened to you. Why? You have taken risks, you are not afraid, you are brave, you push yourself forwards, you strive to be better and you would be surprised how few people actually have the strength and courage to do all what you did. You’re already ahead of the game.

4. You have lost. A friend, a lover, a family member, a special something to you, money, or even yourself, some part of you. You have experienced what it feels like to beat yourself over a mistake, to blame yourself, to get stuck in the past, to hold on to something so hard that once it’s gone, you think you could never get over it and to loath yourself to the core because of all that.

But if you hadn’t lost, you would never know how to appreciate what you’ve gained. A new friend, a partner, a family member, something special to you, a new skill, life lessons, maturity, calmness, wisdom and finally, self-acceptance. Then you realize everything is not so bad. It’s just a part of life to lose some and gain some. After all, we’re only human. We are flawed. We are not supposed to mend the past — we are meant to live this present and build our future.

5. You haven’t given up on yourself yet. Yes, you have been hurt, have made mistakes, have failed, have lost but you are still here, still haven’t given up yet. That’s how different you are from all the people who never let themselves feel, learn, grow, those who are so afraid of failures that they will never take risk and never succeed, those who settle for just anything, those who don’t allow the low and thus will never have the high, those who are alive but actually dead inside, long long ago. They’re ruining their lives without even realizing but not you.

You’re different because of all those mistakes, failures and pains you have experienced and dared to embrace. You’re full of life, inside out because you let yourself be fully human. And best of all, you still stay strong, still keep going no matter what. You haven’t yet closed your door to a better future. You’re open to new opportunities, still brave, still kind, still give your best to all the things you love. And that’s how you will never be defeated because future is nothing but endless possibilities that will turn into reality as long as you keep faith in yourself.

Trust me, you’re doing just fine.

Ellen Nguyen

Ellen Nguyen

Visit me http://ellennguyen.net

  • @TinglyMind

    • Keep going Dont stop doing what you love Dont give
    • The truth is when someone doesnt want you no reason
    • Were young Were only temporary We dont even know where
    • To my fellow women always pay more attention to your
    • Trust me on this  some might break you but
    • One day you wont have to hold ontofading memories anymore
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