Before you, I believed I was afraid of commitment. I tried online dating for a while, swiping into frustration and deleting my profiles after three days of connecting with guys and only occasionally talking. I went on dates that ended nowhere, which made me wonder if there was something wrong with me; if I had been so long without a meaningful connection with someone that I had very little capacity for it now.
At that stage of life, the timing was just not right for us. We both didn’t know what we wanted in life. We were so young, so unsettled, so different. I was at the start of the adulthood race with endless possibilities ahead while he was dealing with the ghosts of the path he had already walked through.
After we cut contact, I wished I had never met him in the first place, for the only thing I knew was pain. However, over time, I was able to see how things have happened exactly the way it should and come to feel grateful for even the pain I felt, and so much more.